Friday, February 28, 2014


Let’s start with an assumption.  People are generally goal directed.  There is our desire for food, for rewarding relationships, for a measure of success, and the list goes on.  Where do you fit within the dimension of goal directedness? Do you have long and short term goals?  Are your goals specific, well defined, achievable, likely to come to fruition?

These may seem easy questions to answer.  Most people would quickly report they are goal directed.  When asked what their goals might be, they often make vague comments about being happy, becoming successful, living a good and healthy life.

Be sure to note, these are indeed, very vague goals and not so easy to achieve.  This is where Social Learning Theory (SLT) enters the scene, helping you bring clarity and definition to your own goal directedness.

As mentioned in other posts, this Blog builds upon the Social Learning Theory of Dr. Julian B. Rotter, ranked among the most influential psychologists of the 20th century.  A basic assumption of SLT is human behavior is purposeful, and it is our privilege to pursue self-defined goals and a life of our particular choosing.  Let’s see what this means.

If you feel aimless, as though you are drifting through life, your daily experience is that of a tumble weed, then it is likely you are not all that fulfilled, are not experiencing a gratifying sense of accomplishment, and are not particularly happy.  You might be asking questions such as “Who am I?” and “What does it all mean?”

Consider this.  It is difficult to define personal goals when you are feeling tense, anxious, angry, and crowded by emotional turmoil.  Your feelings can dominate your consciousness and you spend your time trying to fix them.  In so doing, you might try recreational or prescription drugs, going to doctors, looking for solutions basically outside yourself.  An alternative is to look inside yourself for the answers you seek.  There are important voices within, seeking expression.  Listen to them.

When you do Relaxation Therapy, you experience inner calm, peace within, a feeling that life is actually okay, at least for now, in this moment.  It is during these moments when we are most clear as to what we want from life and what we can do to achieve satisfying results.

I invite you to try something.  Do Relaxation Therapy.  Then, when you return to a wakeful consciousness, ask yourself what matters most to you.  Let yourself FEEL the answer.  Allow yourself to feel who you are and what you want from life.  Feel and allow the answers to surface as they may.  You might be surprised to discover you have achievable goals, modest or magnificent as they may seem to be.

Remember, you ARE what you think.  You BECOME what you do.

Dr. Ray

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